One of the reasons I am feeling so much more at home in this foreign city is because of certain things which happened in the past week. Last weekend, Elisabeth came for a visit. By showing her around 'my' city, I realised again how wonderful the city truly is. The time we spent in the different churches and at the waterside took me back to the trips I myself made to these attractions, and how amazed I was at their beauty. Liverpool is a vibrant, ever-changing city, which combines history and modernity, art and labour, rain and sunshine. There is so much of this city I am yet to explore. I am thinking about making a bucket list of Liverpool, trying to visit every special corner of this very special city. I enjoyed Elisabeth's stay to the fullest, enjoyed speaking Flemish again, discussing language with her in rapid succession of obscurely connected sentences and actually being found funny again (something which has not happened to me in quite a while - my humour seems to be quite different from what the English see as funny). And dressing up as a pirate made the whole thing even better.
Something which was a little less pleasant is the drama in the house. Our new housemate, Dani - who is lovely, by the way - moved in two weeks ago and thus we decided it was necessary we had a housemeeting, to get some cleaning schedules in and discuss certain basic rules. After a meeting of an hour, we had everything written down and everyone was happy. Until the next day, that is. The housemate who had been absent during the meeting decided to disagree with just about everything we had agreed upon, which let to a whole lot of drama, which finally ended on a good note, as we all agreed on keeping to the terms agreed upon the night before. At least, I thought it ended on a good note, until we heard that particular housemate and another one whispering in the kitchen, clearly complaining about things. We had given them plenty of opportunity to speak their mind, instead they chose to do so behind our backs and smile to our faces. Thus, I (and the two other sensible housemates) have more or less decided to keep to my room as much as possible, and not interact unless absolutely necessary. Dani and I are prone to become quite close friends, but the rest will remain housemates, and nothing more. The only complication which now rests is trying to get my DVD's back from the one bitchy housemate without offending him too much, as to avoid him throwing a hissy fit. But that can wait. As I'm getting a new mattress soon (the one I have right now is horrible), tending to my room shouldn't be too bad at all, especially not as I am getting all my DVD's this Monday, as Eva is coming down to Liverpool for three days, something which I am very much looking forward to.
I also finished work, which means I have a little more freedom now, however, I am very much planning on getting a new job as soon as possible, as I really, REALLY need the money. I have to pay the second installment of my tuition fees (£350) on the second of December, and it is safe to see that unless I get a job soon, I will not be able to pay those. So, let's all hope that works out.
But the one thing that I can safely say is what made me feel properly at home in this life, is the discussion I had on Wednesday about free will, predestination and God's plan with this world. For those who know me, you are probably fully aware of the fact that I don't particularly like discussing theology and religion, as it mostly drives me to a very aggressive and frustrated state. But this time, it raised me to a whole new level, one of exaltation and conviction that theology is something worth studying. It's hard to explain why this discussion made me feel this way, I suppose it's one of those things with which you just had to be there. Me and Will, who don't believe in predestination, tried explaining to Rose and Katie why exactly that was. The rational approach ("It is not free will if God knows which option you are going to choose") may seem like the logical choice, but it is hard to convey something so complicated. After all, if God knows all, He surely must know what we are going to choose? And so on. I am not going to give a transcript of the entire discussion, it suffices to say that I left the house with a glow, with knowledge and intelligence and a general buzz in my veins and it was the happiest I had felt in a long while. There is nothing which can match the feeling you get when discussing an intellectual topic with someone who knows how to discuss, and with whom you connect on such a level that when you try to explain something and don't succeed, they reword what you were trying to say in a way that the others do get it, and all just because you are on the same level and know what both of you mean. It's a feeling I have had with very little people and it warms my heart to find a like-minded soul in this city. It was what I needed to feel connected to where I belong.
This is England, I am home. I have found my voice again.
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