Bosvruchtenhagelslag en chocotoffs

My dad and his family were over this weekend. Apart from the fact that they brought me food, books and hairproducts, they also cleaned the kitchen and took me shopping for a new bookcase. It was amazing, to say the least. I had to work on Friday, so after they arrived late Thursday night and I had installed them in my room, I packed an overnight bag and spend the night at a friend's, as I did not want to risk hurting my finally-recovering back by sleeping on the couch and then having to work an 8-hour shift the next day. So I did not see my family til 9pm the following night, at which point everyone was rather tired, so I installed myself on the couch and watched television with my brother and housemate. My brother's English is actually quite good for his age (12), he had no trouble holding up (simple) conversations with my housemates, which rather surprised me.

After a short night, we head out to the secondhand store the next day to find me a bookcase. Not happy with our first options, we visited two more shops, to finally buy a nice black-and-white simple bookcase which will hopefully hold all my books. It fits in perfectly with my room and my new interior design is actually even better than before, so I am very happy with that. I have not begun to unpack my books (two large boxes of them!), as I want it to be a special moment. No matter how dorky that sounds.

Saturday afternoon we went for a meal in town (Full English Breakfast!) and then headed out to the shopping centre, as my brother needed some clothes. As all English people will know, it is the final week of the sales, so when we found the New Look, we didn't leave for another three hours. Poor dad. After shopping for literally hours, we headed down home, where we had a wonderful meal and I headed out to the pub with some of my friends, while my family relaxed at home.

Came Sunday morning, we headed to the 10.30am service at Frontline, which, though it was nice, was not really my thing, which meant I actually attended the evening service too! Anyway, after the service, it was time for my family to head back home (with a slight detour at Anfield to get a Liverpool scarf), so we said our goodbyes and I headed to a community garden nearby to read a bit of Hardy before meeting up with a friend for a drink.

At night I went to church and when the service was over, I got picked up by some Frisbee friends to go to a birthday house party on the Wirral, which, though short, was very lovely.

And today, today I head to the Matthew Street Festival, which has been messing up traffic the entire weekend, so it must be a must to see!

Update

It has been quite a while since I wrote on here and even now I am, it's going to be a short one. I have been very busy with work, working almost every day from 12 til 8. I enjoy it very much, but today my back just started hurting like crazy and I had to go home. I took painkillers, but was still in pain for most of the day and I doubt tomorrow will be any better, so I will probably have to call in sick. Not the best start of a new job, but I do not want to risk damaging my back permanently.

My dissertation has been submitted and my bank might get sorted within now and the end of the week, so at least that is okay.

Now time for bed, in the hope of not waking up with a very sore back in the morning, but to be honest, I very much doubt that...

New, brilliant job!

So, I finally found a good job! From Thursday on, I will be working fulltime (40 hours a week), getting paid £8 an hour (very well-paid!) and doing a rather pleasant job of informing people door-to-door about the public transportation here in the area. Plus, I will be working with two of my church friends, making it all the more pleasant.

The job is only til the 17th of September, making it perfect for me, as it means I will earn about £1000 and then enjoy my part-time studying, part-time working life by getting a weekend job of sorts.

Gloriousness!

Waiting for the clock to strike ten.

The sun is out and I’m wearing a dress, sandals on my feet. I know the lack of sleep must affect me somehow, but my weariness has presently been wiped away by the sound of running busses and a latte. Why did I never go to cafés in Belgium, book in hand, enjoying the solitariness? It seems to be a travelers trait and yet, there’s a man at the table next to me drinking a coffee and reading the papers like it's everyday business. Which it probably is. He seems a little disturbed by my typing, but I type as I talk. I feel more free in this country, different from my Belgian self.
I’m full of hope, today. I think it is the weather. It snowed in Swiss last night. The world is turning topsy-turvy. Why did it take me so long to discover lattes?

New job

I found a new job, doing Silver Service Waitressing, what I've done for the past two years or so, and am very happy to do again. This afternoon I have a trainingsession to refresh some of the basics and then I can start from Monday on. Very happy with this one! However, as this is not regular work and I cannot say for sure I will have work every week, I am still looking for a parttime regular job, even if it is just for two nights a week, so I at least have a regular income to be certain of.

As for my dissertation, I will probably work on it through the night, as we all know that I work best at night. Hopefully I'll have finished everything I can work on without a library by tomorrow morning, so I can write the finishing touches on Saturday/Sunday and send it to someone at home by Monday. Wish me luck!

And the jobhunting continues...

Today I hunted for some more jobs, resulting in an interview tomorrow morning for a company which will probably only give me a few hours a month, but still, money is money, and I also got a modelling job! Well, my feet did. This should be interesting, hah!

Tomorrow will be a day of some more jobhunting and dissertation finishing (going especially to the library for that), followed by a night of creative writing!

Very much looking forward to that, I must say. I have not picked up a pen properly in a long time and I cannot wait to get the inspiration flowing again. Bringing my fountain pen and perhaps even my manuscript, though it is still so rudimentary that I might just as well not take it and write something completely different.

The sun has been out for a couple of days now and I can see the effect already. I am a lot more joyous and positive, though this might also have something to do with my birthday, the Belgian sweets my sister sent me, some good news about a situation I was worrying about and a wonderful service on Sunday which just filled me with joy and positivism! :)

Birthday ftw

My birthday was a grand success, after what appeared to be a sad start. I spent the afternoon eating sweets, surfing on youtube and talking to a friend of mine for more than three hours, which helped me through my sadness. After a refreshing shower, I headed down to my friends' house, where they gave me a glass of delicious wine (which didn't taste like wine at all) and another friend gave me my first birthday card! After a short chat, we went off to Bingo and the awesome part of the evening started. The guy behind the register was lovely and funny and hilarious and incidentally also the caller of the numbers, which led to him (and the rest of the bingo hall) singing "Happy Birthday" to me halfway through the evening. Redness and laughing fits were all-present. We didn't win, but the thrill of stamping your way through the numbers and always be so near to winning was exhiliarating and we had a laugh and just a generally amazing time. After, we went for some cocktails at my favorite cocktailbar (Font!), where I had my first Cosmopolitan (sooo good!).

When I came home after what I thought was the perfect birthday, I found yet another surprise: my lovely housemate Brenda had hung balloons on my door and bought me a huge chocolate cake and a bottle of wine! It was the perfect ending to a perfect night and has lead to yet another birthday celebration tonight, a picnic in the park with cake and wine with a group of friends. This is the life!

22

So it's my birthday today. First birthday to be spent away from Belgium, without my family and (old) friends. Slightly strange. It's not that I'm not enjoying my leisure day, it's just that the normal excitement of birthdays (I get sooo into it) is absent. There are people I wish were here, people on my mind, people in my heart. And it's not that I am sad because I miss them, but it does feel incomplete.

I miss hugging you, throwing my arms around your neck, dancing on the streets with you, making silly jokes with you, talking about personal things and trivial things with you. I miss being me, and being loved for it. I miss being missed. Being loved. Being wanted.

For the first time since I moved, I really wish I was back home. Even if it was just for a day. Cos I miss you, so much...

The rose after the drying process.

I think it looks rather nice, to be honest! Bad picture quality, but trust me, it's beautiful in real life.

Look, I missyou.

Ouch

Also, on other news: I fell with my bike today. The bikechain fell of the gears when I set off again after waiting at a red light, which made the pedals yank my feet down and set me flying right into the curb. Luckily for me, I was not biking in the middle lane anymore as I was at first, otherwise I would have surely been badly hurt, if not killed. So I have decided, in view of this incident and the fact that the whole ride before that I was thinking "this is madness, I am never riding down Smithdown Road anymore, what horrible country is this that they don't even have bike-paths!", that I will not be riding down Smithdown Road anymore when going from Plattsville Road in the direction of City Centre (madness!), only when coming back up (much safer). Instead, I will figure out a peaceful route through backstreets and parks, so I can take my bike out for a spin without risking to be killed on the way.

This country should really start thinking about its cyclists...

That bloody dissertation...

Yes. I did it. I actually worked on my dissertation today. I figured that seeing I have no job at the moment, I might as well spend at least part of my time doing something useful. I edited grammar mistakes and some suggestions of my professor, leaving the bigger issues to be tackled at a latter date. But not to be worried: I will finish this dissertation in time. I have two more weeks, which means I have one more week, so I am giving myself the deadline of Saturday the 14th (so I am worry-free by Sunday the 15th) and I will have finished by then, and it will be good. I don't know if I will work on it tomorrow, as I am going out for lunch and might stick around after (at Barrington Road, where else), and I certainly will not work on it on Monday (imagine working on my birthday - what ludicrecy!), but Tuesday is booked as a schoolday (together with an appointment at the bank - finally!) and unless I find a job by Wednesday, I will be working on it for the rest of the week. If I do find a job, I will just have to work on it in the evenings (now I still have time to spare).

All this productivity is making me feel rather jolly, to be honest. Hoora!

On to the beach we go!

Friday night, we went to the beach ("we" is a bunch of people from church, ed.). Though the sun might not have been shining and the wind was a-blowing, it was a lovely evening. I myself am quite used to going to the beach in winter and autumn, taking long walks along the waterside, the salt embalmed on your lips when you head back to the car. After some dune-rolling (ever so slightly, only one meter or so and I already got a pounding headache from it!), Katie, Greg, Luke and I decided to test the waters. Jeans rolled up to my knees, I paddled a little, but after seeing both Greg and Katie swimming to their hearts' content, I could no longer restrain myself and I strode into the high seas, the water splashing my jeans as the sand embraced my toes. Feeling free and alive and with the water only an inch away from my buttocks, I headed back to the beach, where the realisation hit me: I now had on salty, sandy, wet jeans, which were stinging my skin (very sensitive skin, remember!) and I had brought no change of clothes. Onto the beach towel it was, trying not to provoke any of my church friends with the nakedness of my upper tighs whilst squirming myself out of the wet piece of clothing. With a towel wrapped around my waist and a warm hoodie sheltering me from the sea breeze, I happily stared out over the water and felt at home and at peace.

But the adventure wasn't over. We rounded the group up and drove into the woods, where by now the darkness covered all in a spooky gloom. The boys had the bright idea to play hide and seek. Luckily, we paired up. Coincidentally, I was always found first (why would that be, I wonder?) and enjoyed many a minute eating pringles and drinking a delightful fizzy peach drink whilst trying to discern shapes in the ever faster approaching darkness. It was a rather pleasant evening, not too warm nor too cold (I had put on my slightly dryer jeans before we headed into the woods), which ended in an interesting conversation about different cults and denominations. Cup of tea at Barrington (of course - I keep referring to Barrington Road when I say I am heading home - this is becoming rather awkward) and then a refreshing walk home, meeting butterfly bushes all along the way. And the sand in my shoes wasn't even that bad.

That's how you know.

I've been trying to write. Not just tell what is happening, but write. Thoughts are spinning in my head, keeping me awake and rocking me to sleep. My room smells like ginger. I patiently wait for the package to drop through the letterbox. I patiently wait for the text to come through. And on and on I go. I wonder if I'll find a job. How long I'll have to look. I wonder if I did the right thing, if I made the right choice. I wonder whether I am waiting in vain.

But the butterfly bush in the neighbouring garden gives me peace in my thoughts and hope in my heart.

Another jobhunt.

So I quit my job last night. The reason I did this was that I had been leaving the house at 7.30am and not returning til 8 or 9pm, without earning a penny and even losing some money on transportation and calls we had to make for the job. I had to make a choice between hanging in there, trying again and again, and hopefully making a sale at some point, or quitting and looking for a new job which had normal hours and normal pay. I told myself that if I didn't make any sales on Tuesday, I would quit. And so I did. And instantly, a burden fell off my shoulders. I felt myself again, happy again, without stress or the feeling of sufication. I found my way back to Barrington Road (more on that later) and afterwards slept well for the first time in four nights.

So tomorrow, I will go on another job hunt. I will not be picky and I will not give up. All I need is a job which pays, so I can pay my rent and my tuition fees. And have a life. Especially that last detail. I did not move to slave away. This is the city of my dreams and no bonus in the world could make me not experience it like that.

Refound hope.

Kyle, my couchsurfer of last week, wrote a post on his blog about his visit to Liverpool and how it was the friendliest place he ever visited. Reading his wonderful words reminded me again why I love this city so much and wiped away the clouds which have been hanging around my head for the past few days. This is the city I love, the city I lost my heart to, the city of my dreams, the proof that dreams do come true. Looking at Kyle's pictures, I saw the city through his eyes and remembered how much I loved Liverpool when I first set foot on the Merseyside soil and how happy this place makes me.

Life is good, and though I might be jobless at the moment, I will find my way and live the dream, fully, totally, forever.

Jobless

Just quit my job. More on that tomorrow. No worries, though.